It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
Tom Stoppard
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W.C. Fields
The sense of humor has other things to do than being conspicuous
in the act of laughter.
Alice Meynell
It rolls off my back like a duck.
Sam Goldwyn
He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.
Ring Lardner
What does a woman want?
Freud
The natural rhythm of human life is routine punctuated by orgies.
Aldous Huxley
The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.
Alfred Hitchcock
I'm exhausted from not talking.
Sam Goldwyn
Where is human nature so weak as in a bookstore?
Henry Ward Beecher
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy
Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
Jack E. Leonard
A novel must be exceptionally good to live as long as the average
cat.
Hugh MacLennan
Beauty will save the world.
Dostoevsky
If triangles had a god, he would have three sides.
Montesquieu
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing
of water.
Carl Reiner
Love the sea? I dote upon it -- from the beach.
Douglas Jerrold
Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place because the place
isn't there the second time.
Willie Tyler
No furniture is so charming as books.
Sydney Smith
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Voltaire
Sleeping is no mean art. For its sake one must stay awake all
day.
Nietzsche
Time wounds all heels.
Jane Ace
A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.
Fred Allen
Dying ought to be done in black and white. It is simply not a
colorful activity.
Russell Baker
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Wintson Churchill
Things forbidden have a secret charm.
Tacitus
Many open minds should be closed for repairs.
Toledo Blade
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a
sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark.
George Carlin
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
Errol Flynn
I only know two pieces-- one is Clair de Lune and the other one
isn't.
Victor Borge
When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
Robert Byrne
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping lipstick
off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler
What I tell you three times is true.
Lewis Carroll
I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over
it.
Steven Wright
The difference between pornography & erotica is lighting.
Gloria Leonard
We are what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
It is no rest to be idle.
Paul Peel
The touble with living in sin is the shortage of closet space.
Missy Dizick
The goal of inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately
defeat him.
Russell Baker
Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Gore Vidal
Start slow and taper off.
Walt Stack
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still
a rat.
Lily Tomlin
There must be more to life than having everything.
Maurice Sendak
If you can make a woman laugh you can do anything with her.
Nicol Williamson
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
Dr. Gonzo
A committee of one gets things done.
Joe Ryan
In California you lose a point off your IQ every year.
Truman Capote
Every crowd has a silver lining.
P.T. Barnum
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to
be sane.
Hermann Hesse
Take care of the sounds and the sense will take care of itself.
Lewis Carroll
To err is human; to purr feline.
Robert Byrne
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
Winston Churchill
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
Leo Tolstoy
Life is like playing a violin solo in public, learning the instrument
as one goes on.
Samuel Butler
No statue has ever been put up to a critic.
Jean Sibelius
The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the
other end in an awful hurry.
John Jensen
Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.
William Hazlitt
Not reading poetry amounts to a national pastime here.
Phyllis McGinley
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
Evan Davis
Human kind cannot bear very much reality.
T.S. Eliot
The gods too are fond of a joke.
Aristotle
To be occasionally quoted is the only fame I hope for.
Alexander Smith
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better
care of myself.
George Burns
In fact the whole of Japan is a pure invention. There is no such
country, there are no such people.
Oscar Wilde
There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying, Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace.
John Popper
Everything will change. The only question is growing up or decaying."
Nikki Giovanni
Originality and a feeling of one's own dignity are achieved only through work and struggle."
Feodor Dostoyevsky
To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.
T.S. Eliot
Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within.
Steven H. Coogler
Whether you think you can or think you can't - - you're right.
Henry Ford
Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome.
Samuel Johnson
Progress in every age results only from the fact that there are some men and women who refuse to believe that what they know to be right cannot be done.
Russell W. Davenport
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Francis Bacon
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus
Our greatest happiness in life does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
Thomas Jefferson
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
unknown
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.
Sir Winston Churchill
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
William Osler
Take away love and earth is a tomb.
Robert Browning
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.
Frank A. Clark
Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much can be done if we are always doing.
Thomas Jefferson
The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
Joseph Joubert
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
Aristotle
Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given.
Anton Chekhov
We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults than by trying to correct theirs.
Francois Fenelon
