It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
The sense of humor has other things to do than being conspicuous
in the act of laughter.
It rolls off my back like a duck.
He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle.
What does a woman want?
The natural rhythm of human life is routine punctuated by orgies.
The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.
I'm exhausted from not talking.
Where is human nature so weak as in a bookstore?
Henry Ward Beecher
Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do on a rainy
There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.
Jack E. Leonard
A novel must be exceptionally good to live as long as the average
Beauty will save the world.
If triangles had a god, he would have three sides.
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing
Love the sea? I dote upon it -- from the beach.
Lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place because the place
isn't there the second time.
No furniture is so charming as books.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Sleeping is no mean art. For its sake one must stay awake all
Time wounds all heels.
A gentleman never strikes a lady with his hat on.
Dying ought to be done in black and white. It is simply not a
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Things forbidden have a secret charm.
Many open minds should be closed for repairs.
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a
sled through snow.
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark.
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
I only know two pieces-- one is Clair de Lune and the other one
When the going gets tough, the smart get lost.
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping lipstick
off the milk carton.
What I tell you three times is true.
I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over
The difference between pornography & erotica is lighting.
We are what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
It is no rest to be idle.
The touble with living in sin is the shortage of closet space.
The goal of inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately
Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Start slow and taper off.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still
There must be more to life than having everything.
If you can make a woman laugh you can do anything with her.
Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?
A committee of one gets things done.
In California you lose a point off your IQ every year.
Every crowd has a silver lining.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to
Take care of the sounds and the sense will take care of itself.
To err is human; to purr feline.
I am easily satisfied with the very best.
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
Life is like playing a violin solo in public, learning the instrument
as one goes on.
No statue has ever been put up to a critic.
The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the
other end in an awful hurry.
Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.
Not reading poetry amounts to a national pastime here.
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
Human kind cannot bear very much reality.
The gods too are fond of a joke.
To be occasionally quoted is the only fame I hope for.
If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better
care of myself.
In fact the whole of Japan is a pure invention. There is no such
country, there are no such people.
There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying, Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace.
Everything will change. The only question is growing up or decaying."
Originality and a feeling of one's own dignity are achieved only through work and struggle."
To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.
Seek respect mainly from thyself, for it comes first from within.
Steven H. Coogler
Whether you think you can or think you can't - - you're right.
Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome.
Progress in every age results only from the fact that there are some men and women who refuse to believe that what they know to be right cannot be done.
Russell W. Davenport
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Our greatest happiness in life does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope.
Sir Winston Churchill
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
Take away love and earth is a tomb.
We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't.
Frank A. Clark
Determine never to be idle. No person will have occasion to complain of the want of time who never loses any. It is wonderful how much can be done if we are always doing.
The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given.
We can often do more for other men by trying to correct our own faults than by trying to correct theirs.